The Blue Suit
by Saelryth-Windstalker
Summary: Spike had his reasons for always wearing that same blue suit...One shot.


Spike had reasons for always wearing that same blue suit...

Be sure to read the A/N at the bottom, it contains my reasoning/inspiration for this fic.  
Not really a drabble, more like a ficlet.

Written by Saelryth-Windstalker. I do not own, nor do I claim to own any part of the _Cowboy Bebop_ universe. All credit goes to S. Watanabe and Sunrise. No money is made off of this fan-created work of fiction.

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The Blue Suit, a_ Cowboy Bebop_ fanfiction.

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Spike remembered that day well, the wet, cold weather seeping into his bones, the smell of wet tobacco clinging to him like glue, the bouquet of painfully red roses held tightly in his hand.

That day was etched forever in his memories, a scar on his mind and an open wound to his heart. He could close his eyes and recall every perfect little detail of that day, even the cracks in the sidewalk seemed to mock him from the past.

The day he'd planned to run away with Julia. The day she never showed. The day he died.

He'd woken that morning, heart pounding like crazy and stomach churning; nervous anticipation making him restless and warm. He'd tried to whittle away the hours by making sure everything was ready, the ship, the money, any belongings, provisions, and weaponry. It was all done, all he had to do was wait.

Waiting is not one of Spike's strong points. He'd never been a patient man, and the hours on that cold, wet day ticked away slower than ever before. He found himself antsy, and had finally decided to leave the small apartment he'd been holed up in to walk away his nervous gut.

He'd foregone his casual clothes that day for her, determined to make things as special as possible for the woman of his dreams. Gone were the jeans and jacket, in their place was a new suit, not anything too special, but certainly not as plain and laid back as his usual attire.

Although, in hindsight, he figured that it wasn't the clothes that made him seem laid back, it was his personality. 'Clothes make the man' his ass. No matter what he wore, it always looked like a second skin on him. Julia had playfully reminded him that he could wear a dress and still look as tough and suave as he did now.

Sometimes on the BeBop, he'd find himself wishing he'd brought his old leather jacket and his jeans with him, but all he'd had the day he left Mars were the clothes on his back and the lighter in his pocket. And that was all he needed, really.

Jet liked to eye the suit every so often, hinting that he wasn't required to wear it all the time, and Faye, in her usual tactless manner, would just bluntly state that he should get rid of it. "After all," She'd say. "It's not like you have anyone special to impress, not in that ratty old thing."

Ed would just hug him and bury her face in his stomach, saying she liked the suit, it 'smelled like Spike.' And to 'not listen to Faye-Faye, she doesn't even like blue.'

But he refused to get more clothes. He'd wear this suit on his dying day. After all, it w_as_ for her.

He'd left, pulling his trench coat on as he descended the stairs and stepped on the street, popping the collar on the long brown jacket to protect against the rain. He'd walked aimlessly through the streets of Mars, buying packs of cigarettes, chain smoking them until there were none left, and then buying more.

He just lazed around town all day, taking in the streets and bars, the people hurrying along to get out of the rain, the neon lights flashing and cars speeding past. Only a few more hours, and he'd be off, out of this hellhole of a town. No more loneliness, no more Dragons or shootouts, just Julia.

Spike remembered hearing a chime somewhere signal the hour, and smiled. It was time. He walked back to the meeting place, stopping on the way to buy a huge bunch of red roses, to surprise her. He wanted this to be special and romantic for her, a gesture to show how much he cared.

He'd stood, leaned up against that red brick wall for hours, waiting. He could see the graveyard from here, across the street. But he never saw her. With each passing minute, his heart sunk and fear set in. What if Vicious had done something? He doubted that the already strained relationship between the two men would get any better if Vicious had realized about Spike's plans to run away with his girlfriend.

The longer he stood in the rain, the heavier his heart became. By the time he'd finished the last drag on his last cigarette, Spike felt numb and empty. It had been hours since the meeting time. He looked up at the darkening sky and smiled. She wasn't coming.

He'd tried his best not to cry, but with all the rain that night, Spike never could tell if that was rainwater or tears running down his cheek.

He'd left everything behind, except the weaponry. Something deep inside of him kicked in and realized that something had gone wrong. Vincent most likely had picked up on Spike's plans, and now he had to get out of Mars. Fast.

He'd hardly cared whether he lived or died, feeling like he was dead already. He wanted to fall to his knees and close his eyes and never open them again. But he kept on walking. Spike walked right up to the doors of a building he knew a rival syndicate liked to hide out in. Breathing in deep, he pushed the doors open and walked in, surrounded by gunshots and screams of dying men, his face hard and cold, eyes void of any life.

What stirred in him he still doesn't know, to this day. He had no words to describe the feelings he felt. Part of him realized that life without Julia was a life not worth living. But she wasn't dead just yet, and neither was he. His eyes flashed, and the dead expression on his face was replaced with a look of determination. Quickly, Spike formed a plan. If the syndicate thought him dead, he'd be free to chase Julia all over the galaxy, stopping at nothing to be with her again. He could even fight against the Dragons if he wanted to. He was sure that the Dragons hand in Julia's lack of appearance today.

He let some of the men go free that day, deciding that he needed witnesses to his death to make it look real enough. He pulled the pins on as many grenades as he could, throwing them and running away, watching as the remaining men ran out of the building as it blew sky high.

He'd been lucky that day, letting parts of his coat catch and tear off on the debris, the flames licking at the brown cloth, just enough to make it look like he'd burned up in the explosion.

Spike ran out of the building as quickly as he could, heart pounding. Somehow, it had worked. He hadn't died. He was as alive as ever, ready to find her. But his heart still screamed in pain, and the hurt inside of him made him ache.

So that's why, even after all this time, he still wears the suit. He bought it for her, and wore it for her. And every day since then, he's worn it. Maybe today would be the day he would find her, and if he did, he wanted to look his best. For her.

And it didn't hurt the fact that wearing it got on Faye's nerves.

-fin.-

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A/N:

_I think that Spike is very much so a hopeless romantic. The typical bad boy, but inside, he just wants to be loved and to love. To make life special for the girl he loves and to pamper her. I don't know, it just seems so Spike. He's so obviously hurt by Julia's betrayal, he doesn't even call her by name sometimes. At the mere mention of it, though, he goes and rushes to Jupiter, trying to find her. _

_I think that at one point, they were both in love, but somewhere along the line, Spike's pain and hurt warped his feelings. Making him think that everything would be fixed, as long as he found her and answered his questions. I think that after she stood him up, the pain he felt drove him from love to obsession with Julia. I'm not sure that in the end of the series that he loved her much at all, only that he thought he did. After lying to himself for so long, denying the fact that he was so hurt and obsessed with her, he would think it was love, but would it really be love? To me, I think he was in love with a memory. Spike truly loves Julia, but at what point in the time line does that love turn into something else? _

_I'm not bashing Julia, I like her. But having some experience with unrequited love, I can say from personal experience that most of it is being in love with a memory, of what once was. It's...odd, to say the least. You still want to convince yourself that you love someone, but there's always that nagging doubt. _

_I think that Spike is more in love with Faye towards the middle/end of the series than Julia. But he's lying to himself, trying to convince himself that Julia is the one he loves, not Faye. But that's just me. _

_Maybe I'm crazy. I still like fics where Spike is honestly in love with Julia, and I entertain the thought that he could be, but, much like my stance on his death at the end of the series, it's not the side of the story I lean towards. Sure, Spike actually being in love with Julia the entire time and then really dying at the end makes it a more profound series and ending, but him being in love with Faye (and denying that fact) and him living at the end is also pretty profound, too. It symbolizes change, and as Jet said, time doesn't stand still. I think both endings/pairings are good and make an amazing impact on the story, but my personal favorite, the one I root for is the S/F pairing and a happy ending. _

_With that being said, I noticed that in the end credits for the anime, Spike isn't always wearing his trademark blue suit (yum), but rather some nice jeans and a leather jacket (even more yum). I see him wearing 'normal' clothes during his time in the Red Dragon Syndicate, as he was leading a 'normal' life. (Normal for a hit man/gang member, at least) And the suit was just something he did to look nice for Julia. They **were** going to elope, after all, so wouldn't you want to look nice? And, with him being the [closet] hopeless romantic I see him as, it would only make sense to me that that lunkhead would wear it every day, because he'd never know when he'd run into Julia again._

_:)_

_But anyway. First CB fanfic, hope you like it. Forgive my ramblings and my choppy writing style, my thoughts were all over the place for this one. _

_-sael_


End file.
